Why women have affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sadness, and other harms. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affair. I suppose generally though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to turn the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anyone else? You will need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, enormous truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is not here, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.